Colonel's Revenge
by August08
Summary: Sequel to Mini Skirt Colonel. Obviously, Roy wouldn't let Ed get away with such a prank, now would he?


**A/N**: I have decided to make a sequel to Mini Skirt Colonel.

**Disclaimer**: Sadly, no matter how many times I wish upon the wishing star, I shall never own FMA.

* * *

Alphonse stared in annoyance at the door. Behind the closed and locked door was his older brother. The younger Elric had been trying for the past three hours to get his brother out of the room. Sadly, his last attempt had been the result of the current alchemy barrier that kept the door closed. He could almost see Edward's smug grin as he laughed at outsmarting his sibling. Al knocked on the door, the clanks echoing down the hall. There was a noise inside.

_No doubt Brother is trying to hide,_ Al determined. "Ed, come on out," he ordered.

"The person you are looking for isn't here. Please leave a message after the long, awkward silence."

Al blinked. Was Ed serious? That had to be the lamest attempt to avoid capture yet. Al banged on the door, his usual massive amount of patience was finally running thin.

"Brother, we have to go."

"No, we don't," Ed insisted. "Mustang can start the meeting without me."

Al was silent as he thought about something. "Brother, what are you scared of?" he asked.

There was a short silence. "I'm not scared of anything," came the reply. "I just don't want to go on another pointless mission."

"But, what if it isn't a 'pointless mission'?" Al asked. "What if it's a lead towards the Stone?"

Inside the room, Ed climbed up on to the bed. "Al, it's Mustang," he said. "Knowing him he's gonna send me to inspect some beat up mine."

"But, remember the last mine you had to inspect? You helped a lot of people," Al pointed out, all the while drawing a transmutation circle on the door.

"Forget it, Alphonse," Ed answered. "I'm not setting foot anywhere near Mustang's office today. And, there's nothing you can do to make me."

A hole was suddenly blown through the door. Ed cried out in surprise and dove under the bed. Al walked in and made his way over to the bed. He bent down and looked under the bed.

"Brother, you should have thought about the consequences of yours actions before you pulled that prank on the Colonel."

He reached under the bed and grabbed the back of Ed's shirt. The older Elric began to fight and squirm. But, even with all the fighting, Al was the victor in the end.

"Come along, Brother. After all, being cooped up in a room all by yourself is no way to spend your birthday."

* * *

For once, the office was surprisingly quiet. It was a rare treat. And, like the rare silence, another treat had been given to the Flame Alchemist's team. Roy Mustang was actually doing paperwork. It was another one of life's great miracles. Riza Hawkeye walked into the Colonel's office, headed over to the desk and placed a pile of new papers in front of him. She had expected him to start complaining, but Mustang never said a word. Hawkeye frowned, immediately suspicious.

"Colonel, are you feeling alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine, Lieutenant. Thank you for asking," Roy answered, never missing a beat with signing the papers.

Hawkeye's frown deepened. "Then, why are you working?"

"Because it's part of my job?" Roy replied with a question.

Hawkeye went over to the door and closed it. She then walked back to the desk and stood at attention.

"Is there something you need, Lieutenant?" Roy asked.

"Permission to speak freely, sir," Hawkeye requested.

"Permission granted."

Riza bore her fierce eyes into her commanding officer. "What the heck is wrong with you?" she demanded.

Roy finally looked up. Hawkeye blinked in surprise. His eyes were shining with a childish mischief.

_So, that's why he wouldn't look up, _Hawkeye thought.

"Is Fullmetal here, yet?" Roy asked.

And right on cue, Havoc knocked on the door, opened it and stepped inside the office. He saluted.

"Edward and Alphonse Elric here to see you, Colonel," he announced.

Roy wiped the mischievous expression from his face. "Send them in," he instructed.

Havoc stepped to the side and Al walked in, carrying a struggling Edward under his arm.

"Alphonse, put me down!" Ed demanded.

"Okay," Al said.

He plopped his brother down on one of the couches in front of Mustang's desk. Fuery, Breda and Falman walked into the room and Havoc closed the door. Ed began to panic. Maybe Al was right. He _should_ have thought things through before pulling that mini skirt prank.

"You can relax, Fullmetal," Roy said.

"What are you going to do to me?" Ed asked.

Mustang almost laughed. He fought to keep his expression blank. "Nothing. It's your birthday, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah," Ed answered.

Roy nodded to his team and Fullmetal stiffened. Breda walked forward and held out a rectangular package wrapped in brown paper. Ed took it and tore off the paper. His eyes lit up as he looked down at a brand new alchemy book. It was a volume he had been looking for. The others came forward and gave him their presents. The presents were mostly alchemy based, until it came to Hawkeye. She held out a small box.

"This is from both myself and Miss Rockbell," she said.

Ed took the box and opened it. Inside lay a small kit of the tools and equipment he needed to maintain his automail. Ed rolled his right shoulder. At that moment it was the perfect gift. His arm had been acting funny for a while. He just hoped it wasn't rust. That was the last thing he needed.

"Thanks, eveyone," Ed said, standing up. "You know me too well."

"Well, you always have your head in an alchemy book, chief Fullmetal," Havoc pointed out.

"Like I said, you know me too well." He picked up the presents and turned to his brother. "Come on, Al. We'd better go."

Al nodded in agreement. The brothers headed for the door.

"One moment, Fullmetal," Roy spoke up.

Ed looked over his shoulder. "Yes, Colonel?" he asked.

"You'll find my gift in the outer office," Roy explained. "Use it wisely."

With confusion quickly setting in, Edward made his way to the outer office. Hawkeye glanced over at the Colonel who was barely managing to hold back a grin. Just what was so funny? Meanwhile, Ed was picking up a strangely shaped object up off the desk outside. A tarp was draped over something in the corner. Ed tore off the paper on the smaller object. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he found himself holding a bottle of milk. A note was stuck to the bottle.

_Fullmetal,_

_We always keep telling you that if you don't drink your milk you will never grow._  
_However, if you still refuse to drink it, maybe the objects in the corner will be of more assistance._

_Mustang_

Ed tore off the tarp only to be met with a pair of stilts. He felt his face burn and rage quickly took over. Al stood frozen in place, too scared to move.

"Falman, please close the door," Mustang said.

Falman did as he was told. Seconds later there was a crash and a familiar white substance flowed underneath the door.

"Curse you, Mustang!" Ed screamed.

Roy finally burst out laughing. "You're not the only one capable of pulling birthday pranks, Fullmetal," he declared.

* * *

What do you think? No flames, please.


End file.
